Archive for February, 2011

I just wrote this in the comment section on the previous blog, but the true is I really and not hungry.   Because I am bored I really just want to eat.  That’s the truth.  I told myself I was hungry because in my mind that would have been the perfect excuse for eating something.   How many of you eat when you are bored?   Besides true hunger, when do you eat?  When you are sad?  When you are tired?  When you are celebrating?  I use to think that being an “emotional eater” was simply eating when you are unhappy and trying to “fill the void” as the experts would say; but for me I think many emotions including the good ones cause us to eat more than we should.  I used to have such a negative mental image for the term “emotional eater” but in reality I don’t believe that to be the case.

How many of you actually began to gain weight when you were at a happy place in your life?  I can honestly say that I did.  I even use to joke about it saying there is nothing wrong with going through life fat, dumb, and happy!  Was I happy in that moment, absolutely!  Am I happy about the ramifications; absolutely not.

Has anyone here tried any of the diet supplements on the market?  I have to admit, I am thinking about trying Alli.  There are so many different things on the market I know I wonder 1) if any actually work and 2) are they safe.  I admit when I was in college I used Dexatrim.  At the time I believed it worked but looking back, who knows.  I Googled weight loss pills as I was writing this and it came back with “About 17,600,000 results”.  Some of the big names out there appear to be LipoFuze (stupid name), Decatrim, ProShapeRX, Fenphedrine, Theromotox, 7 Day Slimming Pill, Xendarine, Hoodia, Hydroxycut, and the list goes on and on.   Some of these honestly scare the crap out of me and their claims are outrageous, but there are some that I am curious about.  I certainly don’t expect to take a pill and the weight will magically just fall off, but if something can supplement my existing efforts and it is safe then maybe it is worth a shot?  What are your thoughts?


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Height: 6’2″

Start Weight: 446.6 lbs

End Weight: 264.8 lbs

“The knowledge I gained during this experience altered my life. I now understand that life is about choices and we all fail. The failure is not what makes us who we are, it’s the journey to recovery that makes us strong.”

     Ronnie is another “big guy” who is a hell of a lot bigger than just big.  He’s the quintessential football player.  In his heyday he was encouraged to be corn fed and husky.  The problem is that unless you are putting in football workouts to go along with that diet of extra everything, you will gain weight.  Ronnie is a perfect example of a self saboteur.  He knows how to workout and his fiancé is a fitness professional! The more he gains, the more he feels helpless to do anything about it.  His family relies on him to be the big strong man who saves the day and Ronnie is buckling under the pressure.  He has six kids, a fiancé, and was caregiver for a mother who died of breast cancer.  That’s a lot to carry on your shoulders.

     Ronnie steps up to the plate and does the damn thing at Hilton Head Health spa.  They changed the format dramatically this episode.  The participants stay the entire 6 months instead of 30 days like prior participants.  This leads to fantastic weight loss as they are guided every step of the way.  Visiting day had Ronnie’s fiancé joking that he could stop losing weight and I wanted to pop her upside the head for saying that.  You can love someone unconditionally and still encourage them to continue their weight loss journey.  I’m glad Ronnie didn’t use that as an excuse to quit.  His final weight loss of 180lbs was phenomenal.  I know his new sleeker profile will motivate him to keep the weight off.  His fiancé will finally get that beach wedding he’s been too ashamed to have.  Good for him!


Height: 5’2″

Start Weight: 400.4 lbs

End Weight: 269.8 lbs

“This experience saved my life, I gave the weight too much power over me. I now eat to live, instead of living to eat.”

Okay, Debbie was a Hot Ass Mess, a HAM.  I was done with her almost immediately.  I can’t stand girls who act like they are too delicate to work out.  My mouth fell open when she told the trainer she was going to get off the treadmill as soon as she left the room.  WTF???  Debbie is a 44yr old virgin.  Not for religious reasons, either.  She never comes right out and says it but she implies that her weight keeps her from dating.  I’m not buying that.  I know too many women Debbie’s size (including a friend named Debbie) who date with no problems.  Debbie has low self esteem and is socially awkward.  These things will prevent her from dating no matter what she looks like. The flirting 101 class with the trainer at the golf course was just sad. Debbie is at a crossroads in her life and seemed resigned to being the fat spinster cat lady.  You do have a choice in how you live your life.  I’m glad Debbie finally woke up and got with the program.  It would be a damn shame if the $72,000+ spent on her went to waste.  Thankfully it did not.  Debbie lost 130lbs/ 30% fat and I will clap for that!

     Another emotional Heavy rollercoaster comes to an end. It’s funny that this episode was a great example of sabotage in its many forms.  Self, family, and society tell us we can’t.  We have to love ourselves enough to say “Yes we can”

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The Saboteurs among us

     “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”   I ask myself this all the time.  At times it seems like everyone is trying to sabotage me.  Most of my friends know I keep a food diary.  I weigh all my food and track my calorie intake religiously.  Yet I have friend who constantly wants to go to the Chinese buffet.  I mean at least once a week, if not more.  When I decline he says he doesn’t want to eat alone.  He argues that I do so well during the week and what’s one little cheat day?  He even tried to tell me that he observes what I eat and tries to model my eating habits to help him in his dieting efforts.  Yeah right…… Then there’s the friend who wants to be my workout buddy.  She’s been saying this for 3 yrs.  We’ve never worked out together.  Why?  Because every time we schedule a workout, something comes up.  I’ve gotten her 30 day passes to my gym.  I’ve paid for hip hop classes at a local dance studio (taught by a member of the Jabbawokees) and offered to pay for registration fees for a 5K when she said she wanted to run one with me.  But when it comes time to shit or get off the pot, she never actually comes through.  There have been times when she called me saying she was running late and please don’t start without her, but after 3-4 of these calls never showed up.  But every time I run into her around town, she tells me how great I look and we should get together to workout. Uh huh ;-).

     My workout buddies are the girls I see at the gym every day actually working out.  My diet buddies are you guys ;-).  It’s kind of funny, complete strangers won’t bullshit you but your loved ones will.  It seems like it would be the other way around.  I love my friends dearly but they really work my nerves when they don’t understand why I am driven to be healthy.  Do the people in your life sabotage you?  Do your husband, kids, co-workers, and BFF’s try to derail your weight loss efforts?  How do you stay on course when it seems like everyone is out to destroy your diet?

     On March 26, 2011 I will be participating in The Race for Autism.  BuffyWood has generously offered to donate $1 for every lb lost by our crew.  Let’s all try to break BuffyWood’s bank by losing a ton of weight in the next 30 days!  If anyone would like to match her contribution or donate any amount, here is the link to my fundraising page   http://NFAR.kintera.org/raceforautism/truelifedivaruns









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Wow, I have really been a slacker these past few days.  For some reason this past weekend seemed especially stressful.  My son has been a challenge (which is the polite way of saying he’s been a pain in the butt).    I LOVE my son but after several days of him being home (since last Wednesday) I am definitely missing my “me” time.   My daughter had a cheerleading competition on Saturday and we were there for almost 7 hours!!  URG, between standing around and sitting on the floor or hard bleachers my back is killing me.   As a young teen I had a pretty catastrophic back/neck injury and days like Saturday still bother me.  

With it being President’s Day everyone is home with me yet again.   I work for a Boston based company so I do not get off President’s Day; instead I get off Patriot’s Day.   Today is a tough day for the whole family as my sister-in-law had a mastectomy this morning at the ripe old age of 37.  The good news is that after 16 weeks of chemo and now the surgery it seems they may not need to do radiation like they originally planned.  She is doing really well right now, just tired so thank god for that. 

Wow, I am just a little ray of sunshine today aren’t I?  We all have bad days and sometime venting about them just helps let off some of that pressure. 

Now, back to the title of today Blog…  Right now I really just want weigh less than my dog.  Is that really too much to ask for?  In most cases yes but my big beast weighs 149.7 lbs!  For some reason right now that is my magic number.  Did anyone watch The Biggest Loser last week?  One of the contestants was talking about the 200 lb mark.  She was saying that was her nemesis… she should get so close and then gain the weight again.  For me it is that damn 150 mark!  I have been teetering on the brink now for two weeks and haven’t crossed that friggin’ line.  When I go to the doctors next month I want that damn big bar at the bottom to only go two notches to 100.  When people comment about the size of my dog I want to be able to say with pride “He weighs more that I do”.  That really isn’t too much to ask for is it?

Starting tomorrow I will be re-focused on my goals.  Starting tomorrow my thoughts will be more positive.  Right now I will simply fight the urge to throw something at my TV when that damn Kit Kat commercial comes on again.  It really makes me want one and I don’t even like chocolate. 

In an effort to think more positively…

California35 is back!  YAY!  You were missed.

Golden Girl sent me a picture and out of respect I will not post it.  I just have to say that she is beautiful.  She has one of those smiles that just radiates!  

TrueLifeDiva has a great blog for us tomorrow! 

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Heavy – Kevin and Flor

Another great Heavy recap from TrueLifeDiva. 


Height: 5’11”

Start Weight: 596.7 lbs

End Weight: 507.0 lbs

“This journey has taught me that nothing in life comes easy, but you can’t beat the results. One day at a time.”

     I once had an old boyfriend from Mississippi who would say, “He’s got more excuses than a MotherF*cker going to jail”.  Kevin has a lot of reasons for why he can’t achieve his goals.  My radar began pinging with him in his intro when he said he didn’t think he was obese.  How in the hell are you damn near 600lbs and think you are just big boned?  I didn’t expect him to flog himself on camera but he seemed too comfortable with his current weight.  When Kevin was busted bringing candy to Hilton Head I almost threw my shoe at the T.V.  First thing he did was lie.  “I didn’t buy that.”  So what? If someone else buys the candy, do the calories no longer count?  If Kevin had spent as much time working out as he did spouting “Affirmations”, he might have really lost some weight.  Did he think the weight was going to magically evaporate?  He refused to follow the advice of the experts trying to work with him.  His sorry ass excuse about different climates in different states causing him to gain back 14 lbs at home ticked me off!  Who do you think you’re fooling?  You stated on camera you were gonna do things your way. If what he was doing before had worked, he wouldn’t be 600lbs, but Kevin is hardheaded.  I really wish I knew what was going through his head.  To me it was a complete waste of 30 days and $12,000 at Hilton Head and the following 5 months at home.  He gained absolutely nothing from his experience.  Kevin did not appreciate the blessing this experience could have been to him and his family.         


Height: 5’0″

Start Weight: 308.6 lbs

End Weight: 242.8 lbs

“It has been a difficult journey, but I have learned through therapy, knowledge and hard work that it was lies that enabled me and justified my addiction to food.”

     Flor has been through a lot in her life and has been waiting for an opportunity to break free.  During the at home footage her husband spoke of her like a roommate and not a woman he loved dearly.  This broke my heart and I really felt for Flor.  When Flor came to the weight loss facility she came with determination.  This pint sized woman kicked major ass!  I knew she was not playing when she shaved her head.  Talk about a rebirth.  Too bad none of her positive attitude rubbed off on Kevin.  Flor knew she had to turn her life around when she came on the show and she did not waste any opportunity.  Flor was very inspiring to me.  I loved her fighting spirit.  She looked absolutely glowing at the final weigh in. I definitely see Flor achieving her weight loss goals and being fabulous. 

     This episode should have been called determination and denial. I was taken on an emotional roller coaster this week.  I knew this show would evoke feelings but I never knew I would get this wrapped up!  Flor’s picture should be in the dictionary under girl power.  Kevin’s should be in the dictionary under slacker.

      Next weeks episode looks like another ride on the Heavy rollercoaster of love.

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TrueLifeDiva Tuesday

How to get your groove back- fitness to feel young and sexy


     While we are on this fitness journey together we need to discuss a few peripheral subjects.  Last week I discussed clothing to enhance your mood.  This week I want to discuss beauty, hair, and skincare.  When I’m at the gym I notice good and bad examples of how we as women take care of ourselves.  I see women wearing full faces of make up.  I see women wearing their hair down or pulled up with newspaper rubber bands.  I see women wearing non-supportive bras.  I see women wearing shoes made for fashion, not working out.  I once saw a chick wearing stilettos and sunglasses on the Stairmaster!  I feel like  that one comedien and just walking up to them, “Here’s your sign.”    What’s with women wearing their hair down at the gym?  Who are you trying to be sexy for?  There’s a chick in my TKB class with waist length hair who comes in with it down, then struggles to pull it up into a ponytail while doing the drills, and has to stop numerous times to fix it.  Why doesn’t she just put it up in a bun to begin with? Like I do ;-).  I try to understand the make up thing.  If you’re coming from work or sneaking in a lunchtime workout, I’ll cut you some slack.  But I see some women who stroll in on Saturday with a full face of war paint and then act too cute to sweat because their make up might run.  I sweat like a beast when I work out, the gym is no place to be cutesy.  The only thing cute about me at the gym is my outfit and it still has to be functional.

     Aside from losing weight and toning up, working out has beauty benefits as well.  Jogging, jumping jacks, and fast paced dancing helps keep your skin firm.  Sweat helps flush impurities.  Vigorous exorcise helps blood circulation and gives your skin a rosy glow.

     Make sure your gym bag has all the essentials your need for after your workout.  My gym bag has small train case with 3 oz bottles of the following;

  1. body wash
  2. special Tea tree body wash for intimate area
  3. shampoo
  4. conditioner
  5. lotion
  6. sunscreen
  7. eye make up remover
  8. deodorant
  9. styling spritz
  10. styling wax
  11. mini brush
  12. tooth paste
  13. travel toothbrush
  14. razor
  15. dental floss
  16. “new item” OneMoreinBoston’s body scrub


     I also keep a spare pair of panties, socks, pantyhose, and scarf.  I can’t count how many times I have rescued someone by giving them a sample shampoo packet, a tampon, and recently a razor!  I bring my own body wash because the soap at the gym disgusts me.  Since I work out 6-7 times a week, if I used the gyms cheap soap my skin would be thrashed.  I use unscented body wash due to my psoriasis. For lotion I use non-scented brands or scented with natural essential oils like lavender or plumeria (my favorite) cut in half with baby oil gel.  I use Mitchum deodorant because it lasts longer.  I like Avon’s creamy eye make up remover because I use liquid waterproof eyeliner and mascara.  For shampoo I like Paul Mitchell Tea tree and Sebastion’s Laminates conditioner.  When my hair is “tore up” I use my Paul Mitchell Tea tree styling wax to slick my hair into a ponytail.  On my face I smooth on either Clean & Clear dual action moisturizer or Aveeno Ultra-Calming daily moisturizer with SPF 30.

     Well, now that I’ve divulged all my favorites, what are yours?  Do you have a favorite must have beauty item that makes life easier?  Please share with the group 😉

Also, feel free to ask me any questions about hair, skin, and make up.  I am a beauty professional with 20+yrs experience in the field.









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When my daughter was little and I did something special for her she would always say “Mom you didn’t have to do that”, and I always replied “Tiffany, I am a grown-up I don’t HAVE to do anything”.   I explained to her that almost everything we do is a choice; well with the exception of certain bodily functions like sleep, going to the bathroom, etc.  She really didn’t get what I was saying for the longest time.  She would say “But mom you have to go to work, don’t you?”  Technically I don’t have to go to work; it is a choice and not making the right choice has consequences.  Yes, I could choose not to go to work but then there would be consequences.  I would have to take time off and if I did it too often I would most likely lose my job.  I choose to go to work so I can make a good living for us.

Life at this point is really just a sum of our past choices.  If you think back it really is amazing how one decision made differently would totally change our existence.  “What if” really can be two powerful words!  What if I chose a different college, what if I chose a different place to work (I met my ex-husband at work).  I wouldn’t have gotten married and I wouldn’t have had Tiffany.  What would have been?  Every decision takes us down a different path. 

In the past I really didn’t even consider various choices when eating.  What I ate was simply a habit, something done without conscious thought.  I bought the same things at the grocery store I always did, I ate almost the same thing for lunch every day (ham and cheese with lots of mayo) and I snacked on what I wanted whenever I wanted.  Every once in a while I would think to myself that I wanted to look and feel better, but I didn’t make the choice to do anything about it. 

I honestly do not know why I continued to coast through life the way I was.  Deep down I wasn’t totally happy about myself but I lacked the motivation to really do anything about it.  I wish I knew what my “Ah ha” moment was.  Once day I just decided I was going to change.  For me yet again it was just a choice I decided to make. 

Step one was going to the grocery store.  I had to make sure I had everything in the house I would need to make smart eating choices.  A priority for me was to have my healthy options quick and easy to grab.  This way when I went downstairs to get lunch or a snack the “easiest” choice was also the best choice.  From a snack perspective in the past I would grab the whole bag of chips.  The issue was once I got the chips to my desk I mindlessly continue eating them without realizing that I had eaten half to bag!   By having my snacks pre-portioned once I made the choice of what snack I wanted there was no way for me to over eat on it.  Going back for more then became a conscious decision instead of mindless continual eating.

I believe (almost) every day we can choose our attitude.  I choose to be happy. I don’t succeed in this every day, but I sure try.  We have a running joke in our house.  I have a “Grumpy” t-shirt from the Disney store.  If I wake up and I can’t find happiness I usually put it on.  My family makes jokes about staying away from me for a while.  It is my warning sign if you will, and usually the act of joking about it is enough for me to snap out of my funk, but certainly not always.  I still have my days that I can be a downright bitch but those days are definitely few and far between.

We also have a choice in how we react to situations.  My daughter would come home and say “Ally made me so mad”; but I would tell her “Ally shouldn’t have that power over you”.  Regardless of someone else’s actions we choose how we react to it.   This is very hard to do as emotions come into play. Choices are hardest to make when we allow our emotions to interfere with our thought process.

Over all I am very happy with my life and I happy with the choices I have made.  There are very few things I look back on and say “I wish I had done” or “I wish I hadn’t done”.  The one big thing for is that I wish I had made the decision to improve myself sooner.  With that said, you cannot change the past, what done is done.  What you can do is make your choices now to improve your future.

Making the right choice is not always easy.  I’ve realized sometimes the best choice is not put you in the position to have to make that choice in the first place.  Right now I would rather not go out to our favorite restaurant; I do not want to be faced with the decision to choose between something healthy and my old favorite Cajun Chicken Pasta.  This goes for other aspects of our lives too.  Right now I am trying to keep things around me very positive.  I had a situation recently that really annoyed me.  I still do not know what bothered me more… what was initially said to me or the fact that I allowed myself to let it get to me the way it did.  In either case I made the choice not put me in that situation for a while.    

The weekend is upon us and I know I am faced with more choices during the weekend.  I am out of my routine and I have more time on my hands.  This weekend may be especially challenging if any of you have plans for Valentines.   Sometime just simply pausing and realize your actions themselves are a choice can help.  Try and make good choices.  If you don’t once the choice is done there is nothing to do about it but accept it and move forward.  Don’t beat yourself up about it; just use it as a reminder to make a better choice the next time.

“When a man is sufficiently motivated, discipline will take care of itself.”
– Sir Alexander Paterson

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