Initially I wanted to use the word “we” in the title but then I started thinking… Am I one of the only ones who do this? I don’t think so but I didn’t want to make that assumption. Maybe “like crap” is too harsh of a term but in general I do not take care of myself the way I should.
I wasn’t always this way. In my 20’s I took great care of myself. I got my nails done every two weeks, my hair was cut every 8 weeks or so, and I went to the gym at least 3 times a week. While I was by no means a “fashionista”, I used to enjoy shopping and I had nice clothes.
That all changed when I had my daughter at 28. It didn’t happen all at once, but gradually over time. It seemed that in many ways I just didn’t care about myself the same way. My wants and needs became her wants and needs. Her father and I got divorced when she was four and up to about four years ago it was just her and I. I was actually really happy during that time. As she got a little older I began taking care of myself again. It wasn’t about looking good so I could date as I really had no interesting in dating for a long time. It was simply about feeling good about me and being happy.
I guess you could say round two came; I met someone, we dated, he moved in, and we decided to have a baby together. Yet again I was last on my internal list of priorities. My son will be three next month and I haven’t been to the doctors since my 12 week post baby check-up. My 37 year old sister-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer late summer but do you think I would process that devastating news and get a mammogram? Of course not. Really, now stupid can I be?
It was my 14 year old daughter who really sent the message home that I deserve better than how I treat myself. We were at the mall two weeks ago and Victoria’s Secret was having their semi-annual sale. They had big bins of $12.99 bras so I picked out a few. As we were going to pay for our stuff my daughter was at the register next to me. When one of the bras I had rung up at full price I was told it was not one of the ones on sale so I told the clerk I didn’t want it. Money wasn’t the issue, it was just not worth it to me even though I really liked it. My daughter said “Mom, if you want it I will get it for you” and tried to hand me $20 of her Christmas money. How amazing is that?
I’ve decided that it is time to treat myself better and take better care of myself. Well, for me I guess that is easier said than done and I need some baby steps. I did schedule a doctor’s appointment (Feb 7th) and I called to get the referral for the Mammogram so that is a start. Remember last week I posted that I was getting a mani/pedi to celebrate my 5 lb weight loss? Well, it didn’t happen. My daughter had an all day cheerleading competition on Sunday and I felt too guilty about leaving Garrett our some with my boyfriend for so much this weekend. Another excuse I told myself is that I needed another week to get a paper cut on my cuticle to heal. What crap is that? Why the guilt? I used to think it was good old fashion Catholic guilt, but the truth is I wasn’t raised that good of a Catholic. Whatever the reason, it stops now. Mani/pedi here I come. While my good treatment of myself may start off as a reward, I will work on it becoming a permanent part of my routine.
The airlines got this one right when they tell you to put the mask on yourself first, and then take care of your child. We need to take better care of ourselves so we in turn can take care of those around us.
Please tell me I am not the only one? I really want to hear from you. You all have been so great and I would not be doing as well as I am without you. Do you realize so far we have a 100% sucess rate? Nobody has dropped off and everyone has continued to lose weight/body fat! You guys are AWESOME!
If someone wants to write a blog to post please just let me know.